I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Houston, we have a blender
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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