I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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