so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
