There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?