you would pick up someone in the library
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
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I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She made me pour olive oil on her.