I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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