she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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