Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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