I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
