Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
