Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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