I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
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He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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