so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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