You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
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