am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize