didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
