dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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