My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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