And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
