wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
