Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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