The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
