Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This toilet bowl is my home.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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