Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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