i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
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a search helicopter?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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