Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass