is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
