He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
