I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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