yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
