I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize