Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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