im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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