It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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