Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
