Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
