so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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