I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
