Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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