u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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