Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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