i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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