Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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