Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
