We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
