Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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