I'm really into asian looking animals
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize