Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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