I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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