clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
