he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize