Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she told me i tasted like america
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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