I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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