Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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