u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
