9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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