I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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