Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
